If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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