I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
