She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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