the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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