once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
