Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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