I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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