The maid of honor just puked.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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