Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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