Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
