I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Let's get the cat blown out
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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