What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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