But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just threw up on my dentist
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
