you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
