Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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