drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
