where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
