she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
