So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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