Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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