You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
