I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
