whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
