he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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