id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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