Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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