I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
