he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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