Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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