Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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