Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
