At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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