why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
