Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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