Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
