JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
