dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
