I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
