I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
