Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
