I just threw up on my dentist
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He did a backflip because drugs
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
