Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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