Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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