i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
