Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
