I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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