My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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