did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
