I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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