Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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