marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
