i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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